We just came home from a wonderful long weekend away, it is so nice to have a little break every now and then. We don't do it very often and probably not as often as we should we will be working on that over the summer. I have been starting to stand up for myself when people comment on my little family and on how lucky my Son is to get all the attention etc. I say yes he is and that is the beauty of having only one child. It's hard because sometimes I want to say more or get angry at them but I know most times it is not meant as a dig at me personally it's just once you have struggled as we have you are sensitive to those comments. People don't understand that for me just going out is a struggle that seeing so many people with the family we hoped for, dreamed for, and sacrificed my health for is hard. That a simple thing like taking my Son to a birthday party I dread, I cringe at the idea knowing comments will be made and that DS will see his classmates interacting with their siblings and that will make him say, "Mommy I want to be a big brother too" all he wants is to be like his friends. I have to say though he is getting better it was only just last week that he made a comment about it I hadn't heard it in months, that makes it easier. I had a chance to chat with a good friend while away and she too has only one child it was good to hear that she too has the same struggles and feels the same pressures.
I find it interesting that as mothers we find it appropriate to judge each other on our abilities to parent and raise our families instead of supporting one another and realizing that you do not know the full extent of that person situation and given time you may too experience the same thing. So instead of lifting that mother up and being encouraging we would rather stare and comment. I feel as mothers we should bond together and encourage one another be our own support system because lets face it this is the hardest job we will ever face with the toughest critic. I have been reading the book Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman, I am really enjoying it. I am finding some of things I did or do naturally but some of the history behind the french parenting method is very interesting. I really recommend reading it is worth the price or check it out of the library although very popular so hard to get.
I am setting myself a goal to not be judgmental of other Mothers when I am out and to try and give them a little smile or help them out when faced with a difficult situation. I will remember that I have or could be in their shoes one day too.
Had to add a link to this post by a fellow blog Mommy out there: 10 Days of Intentional Parenting Day Six: Grace by finding joy.
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