Am I Mom Enough

This post has been many days in the making, and was a result of the Time Life cover Are You Mom Enough, it struck a cord with me and many other Mothers I am sure!

First let me say I am not opposed to extended nursing nor do I have anything against so called Attachment Parenting. What I am opposed to is labels, judgement and criticism, I feel the title of that article just sets us up to feel unless meet some stereotype we aren't Mom enough. Like the mother that after seeing me for I don't how many weeks at Story Time finally talked to me and confessed she felt like a bad mother because she couldn't give her 3 yr old the attention that he was used to getting before his brother came along, does that mean she isn't Mom enough or what about my friend who had to stop nursing her baby at only a few months old because she wasn't getting any support and sacrificing her own health to continue or myself who when my Son was only 3 weeks old crying in my kitchen because I was having to supplement him with formula because I wasn't producing enough breast milk to meet the requirements set out by his Dr at birth or am I less of a Mom because I have been unable to conceive another child even with the help of the Doctors,  does that mean my friend who nursed her daughter till well over 4 and much to the dismay of her partner does that mean she is a better Mom then all the rest of us?
Who and what determines how good of a Mom we are, in my opinion it is our children! Are they happy? Are they healthy? Are they growing? Are they meeting their milestones? But most importantly are we happy, do we feel Mom enough? The best piece advice ever given to me is that any decision has to reflect the best interest of the child but also the Mother. If we aren't happy then the child will not be either.
 I think as a society we are setting the bar so high for today's Mother to be this picture perfect Pinterest board, magazine ad Mom and that is not the reality. The reality is Mother hood is hard, it is messy and it isn't glamorous in any way!
I have been following this wonderful blog called Finding Joy she reminds me to enjoy the little things to let the mess happen because that is part of being little, to put one foot in front of the other and make time for one task off my list a day so I can feel like I accomplished something other than caring for a multitude of children ( I have 4 - 6 children in my care on any given day plus my Son)  and feeding my husband. She reminds me that I am "Mom Enough" even if I did not nurse my Son past 11mths or haven't birthed multiple children that I am "Mom Enough" just the way I am with all my flaws. So take some time today read her post Dear Over Worked Mom and realize that you are the perfect Mom for your child just the way you are even if your house is a mess and your baby is bottle fed!

A little family

We just came home from a wonderful long weekend away, it is so nice to have a little break every now and then. We don't do it very often and probably not as often as we should we will be working on that over the summer. I have been starting to stand up for myself when people comment on my little family and on how lucky my Son is to get all the attention etc. I say yes he is and that is the beauty of having only one child. It's hard because sometimes I want to say more or get angry at them but I know most times it is not meant as a dig at me personally it's just once you have struggled as we have you are sensitive to those comments. People don't understand that for me just going out is a struggle that seeing so many people with the family we hoped for, dreamed for, and sacrificed my health for is hard. That a simple thing like taking my Son to a birthday party I dread, I cringe at the idea knowing comments will be made and that DS will see his classmates interacting with their siblings and that will make him say, "Mommy I want to be a big brother too" all he wants is to be like his friends. I have to say though he is getting better it was only just last week that he made a comment about it I hadn't heard it in months, that makes it easier. I had a chance to chat with a good friend while away and she too has only one child it was good to hear that she too has the same struggles and feels the same pressures.

I find it interesting that as mothers we find it appropriate to judge each other on our abilities to parent and raise our families instead of supporting one another and realizing that you do not know the full extent of that person situation and given time you may too experience the same thing. So instead of lifting that mother up and being encouraging we would rather stare and comment. I feel as mothers we should bond together and encourage one another be our own support system because lets face it this is the hardest job we will ever face with the toughest critic. I have been reading the book Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman, I am really enjoying it. I am finding some of things I did or do naturally but some of the history behind the french parenting method is very interesting. I really recommend reading it is worth the price or check it out of the library although very popular so hard to get.

I am setting myself a goal to not be judgmental of other Mothers when I am out and to try and give them a little smile or help them out when faced with a difficult situation. I will remember that I have or could be in their shoes one day too.
Had to add a link to this post by a fellow blog Mommy out there: 10 Days of Intentional Parenting Day Six: Grace by finding joy.